Last Letter
I only need a couple of batteries, damn it.
I did not know where to find them and I looked at that old tape recorder that you lent. I came the brilliant idea turning it on. I had not already done so, I did not think it made sense to do it, I did not know.
I expected to hear the usual hours of recording of my old university, or the interview that you have registered. Instead there was a message.
At the time, I also ask me but I never checked. I discovered today.
The audio is bad, the belt was set at 1.2 cm which allows longer recording at the expense of quality, and location of the recorder was to be a little uncomfortable because of what is recorded is understandable.
I just finished listening. To hear your voice again was strange, you're now a person of the past, too far for me the other day I watched a video of London and the face I saw was a stranger and this knowledge made me sick. Some time ago I wrote a phrase on msn: "I look at the ocean that separates us and never see you again." You are far away, and I could not help it.
I look around and see what still remains of what was now nine months ago. The stuffed animals that still lazing on the couch, his hat, them on the shelf gathering dust.
envelopes all your gifts, and related notes.
The shreds of the painting that you gave me, with your last inscription, which destroyed in the heat of anger when I read your last email to wolf a few seconds after seeing the photo of the kiss.
I also thought of buying it back, but I know that I can never do it. That picture, that image will be permanently linked to you forever and even if it were a copy, it would be that picture.
The last three condoms of the package that we've never consumed. I have not made love since then, I did not need to consume them, you can say the same? Perhaps the last time we met I should give you at least would not have threatened to end as surely they will.
In the tape, in the little that we understand at least, tell me to live my life to find happiness. But I stopped.
know I've changed? Some say it does not look like me. What happened was a real shock to me, no use mincing words. The wall that already existed to defend it thickened so much that now it's almost impossible to achieve. Now you no longer need to defend myself, but to isolate myself.
I no longer feel the need of sex, nor the inclination. I tried to have relationships that are low only on the last few months, but have done nothing but away from it all, isolating them even more.
Seeking desperately for someone who is at least similar to what I thought you were, or what you were for me, someone to love me unconditionally and loves only me. But I'm not capable.
To allow someone to love me I opened the door, give her the opportunity to let her know who they are, but they are isolated my own will.
do not know why I wrote this. I did not want to unlock the two contacts msn, and I do not have the strength to talk on mobile. I left but I have not completely defeated and I do not want to fall into hell, especially given the results. Here I am, depressed again, and I think what you were and what you'll never be. It would be strange to pronounce your name knowing that it is a person who now has nothing to do with me.
If my math is not wrong this summer you set in motion the move for you?
strange life is not it? We as a starting point remember? When you had to move to Milan.
You've never said why you have not done more. Oh well does not matter now.
I was alone on the blog as a slender point of contact. I do not know if you read it yet, but I needed to write that letter and I did.
The frustrating thing is that there would be millions of other things to say, but as I write I can think of, and I know he will do then. But perhaps it makes more sense.
And to think that eventually the batteries were not even what I needed -.-
I only need a couple of batteries, damn it.
I did not know where to find them and I looked at that old tape recorder that you lent. I came the brilliant idea turning it on. I had not already done so, I did not think it made sense to do it, I did not know.
I expected to hear the usual hours of recording of my old university, or the interview that you have registered. Instead there was a message.
At the time, I also ask me but I never checked. I discovered today.
The audio is bad, the belt was set at 1.2 cm which allows longer recording at the expense of quality, and location of the recorder was to be a little uncomfortable because of what is recorded is understandable.
I just finished listening. To hear your voice again was strange, you're now a person of the past, too far for me the other day I watched a video of London and the face I saw was a stranger and this knowledge made me sick. Some time ago I wrote a phrase on msn: "I look at the ocean that separates us and never see you again." You are far away, and I could not help it.
I look around and see what still remains of what was now nine months ago. The stuffed animals that still lazing on the couch, his hat, them on the shelf gathering dust.
envelopes all your gifts, and related notes.
The shreds of the painting that you gave me, with your last inscription, which destroyed in the heat of anger when I read your last email to wolf a few seconds after seeing the photo of the kiss.
I also thought of buying it back, but I know that I can never do it. That picture, that image will be permanently linked to you forever and even if it were a copy, it would be that picture.
The last three condoms of the package that we've never consumed. I have not made love since then, I did not need to consume them, you can say the same? Perhaps the last time we met I should give you at least would not have threatened to end as surely they will.
In the tape, in the little that we understand at least, tell me to live my life to find happiness. But I stopped.
know I've changed? Some say it does not look like me. What happened was a real shock to me, no use mincing words. The wall that already existed to defend it thickened so much that now it's almost impossible to achieve. Now you no longer need to defend myself, but to isolate myself.
I no longer feel the need of sex, nor the inclination. I tried to have relationships that are low only on the last few months, but have done nothing but away from it all, isolating them even more.
Seeking desperately for someone who is at least similar to what I thought you were, or what you were for me, someone to love me unconditionally and loves only me. But I'm not capable.
To allow someone to love me I opened the door, give her the opportunity to let her know who they are, but they are isolated my own will.
do not know why I wrote this. I did not want to unlock the two contacts msn, and I do not have the strength to talk on mobile. I left but I have not completely defeated and I do not want to fall into hell, especially given the results. Here I am, depressed again, and I think what you were and what you'll never be. It would be strange to pronounce your name knowing that it is a person who now has nothing to do with me.
If my math is not wrong this summer you set in motion the move for you?
strange life is not it? We as a starting point remember? When you had to move to Milan.
You've never said why you have not done more. Oh well does not matter now.
I was alone on the blog as a slender point of contact. I do not know if you read it yet, but I needed to write that letter and I did.
The frustrating thing is that there would be millions of other things to say, but as I write I can think of, and I know he will do then. But perhaps it makes more sense.
And to think that eventually the batteries were not even what I needed -.-
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